Monday, September 7, 2009

Sign Creation at Sporting Events

OK, while there are many things that bother me about sports, there are several things that bother me about fans as well. This post is going to be my outlining rules for what is an acceptable sign.

Rule #1: The sign cannot be anything vile about an opposing player that isn't true. Several years ago a Maryland basketball fan held a sign (on national television, nonetheless) that read, "Hey JJ, I raped your little sister last night." This is so far out of bounds that I don't even want to touch it. It's not even close to being allowed, and I hope the fan's parents saw what their son had done and pulled him out of school and had him re-evaluate his own life.

Rule #2: Signs must be legible. Do not scrawl your chicken scratch on a sign so that nobody can read it. The writing must be clear so that a long-lens camera can display it on TV.

Rule #3: In the event that you make an acrostic sign, whether it be with a school's abbreviation or the network the game is airing on, you MUST start each line/word with the first letter of whichever acronym you are using. I saw a sign during tonight's Florida State/Miami game (on ESPN) that read:

HurricanE
SeaSon
Postponed
For Now

These types of signs are so dumb that I want to reach through the television and punch the person holding it in the face. You can essentially make it say anything you want, since you've allowed yourself the freedom to utilize the letters wherever you'd like in a word. An example of a good one that I remember is one that was made for my cousin, Sam Swank, who is the former Wake Forest kicker/punter. Using his last name, it read:

Secret
Weapon
All-Purpose
NFL Bound
Kicker

That is creative, funny, and clearly stays within the boundaries of only using the letters of the acronym/name to begin each line, plus it's relevant to the topic at hand.

Rule #4: No spelling mistakes. Simply inexcusable, and your sign should be seized and burned.

Rule #5: Objects are most definitely allowed. The combination of the letter "D" and a picket fence to symbolize "Defense" is so classic and awesome that I encourage it to be at every football game.

Rule #6: The only thing better than a sign and a "Defense" combo is a replica Stanley Cup made out of tin foil.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Road to Williamsport

While I would rather eat my own foot than listen to Ziggy Marley's "Walk Tall" (this year's theme song to the Little League World Series) again, I figured there were three ways I could avoid listening to the song. First, I could mute the television while watching the LLWS, but I enjoy the commentary that Gary Thorne, Brent Musberger, Orel Hersheiser, and Orestes Destrada provide. Second, I could not watch the LLWS period, but, because I've watched religiously ever since Toms River, NJ won in 1998, I won't do that either. However, option #3 is clearly superior to both, because it entails my actually going to South Williamsport, PA and watching the LLWS in person. Despite my being a HUGE LLWS and living just about three hours away, I had never been to the complex in person until last week. Along with my mom, dad, and younger brother (and my grandparents, who we met there), I made the trek to the Mecca of Little League Baseball and enjoyed one of the most incredible experiences you can have as a fan of America's Pasttime.

For those who either don't care or don't watch the LLWS, there are two stadiums. The main building is the expansive Lamade Stadium, which seats an astonishing 10,000 people, not including the HUGE hill all around the outfield, which can easily (and almost always does in the later stages of the tournament) seat another 20,000+ eager fans. With half the seating capacity (and far less comfortable seats...bleachers as opposed to seats with armrests), Volunteer Stadium is equally as beautiful. I cannot even fathom the number of man hours put into getting these fields ready for play, and maintaining them as well. Kudos to whomever organizes that effort. Along with the gorgeous stadiums, there is also a gift store (chock full of T-shirts, hats with both team and LLWS logos on them), bathrooms (clean facilities, always a plus at a sporting event), and, of course, a snack bar.

While the souvenirs were priced similarly to those you might find at any professional sporting event ($22 for a hat), the admission and parking were slightly less. Like all the way less. That's right, you can park and enter the complex without ever opening your wallet! While you cannot bring any food or drink in with you, the purhase of refreshments won't break the bank either. We were able to buy lunch for all six of us (food and drink) for $39. For you non-math majors out there, that's $6.50 per person, or less than a bottle of beer in almost any pro stadium (speaking of which, no alcohol or tobacco on the premises).

Anyway, now that I've explained the general layout and the affordability of the LLWS, I shall tell you about the scheduling and the games. We decided to go on a day of pool play when there were five games scheduled so we could get maximum value from our free tickets. The games start every two hours beginning at noon, and they alternate the fields on which they're played, so that the fields can be prepared for the next game. The first scheduled game was the Latin American champion, Venezuela, versus the MEA, or Middle East/Asia representative, Saudi Arabia. I know what you're thinking, "Saudi Arabia? They play baseball there?" Fear not, I have the answer for you, "Children (yes, not just male children, for there was a female member on this roster) of American military personnel stationed in Saudi Arabia play baseball." The US National anthem was played for the Saudi Arabia squad since every player was American. Speaking of national anthems, I thought (not to be rude), that the Venezuelan one sounded like something you'd hear while walking through the game section of a carnival. We were able to see both teams warm up (these kids are GOOD...their fundamentals are so technically sound that I wish I had their work ethic as a kid while I was still playing baseball) before the national anthems, as well as hear a player and the coach of each team recite the player and coach pledges of Little League Baseball, which can be found here: http://www.littleleague.org/Learn_More/About_Our_Organization/pledge.htm, and here: http://www.littleleague.org/parents/parentorientation/Parent_Volunteer_Pledge.htm, respectively. Since we got there early enough, we were able to get seats almost right behind home plate, which let us see the whole field quite well. Saudi Arabia's pitcher was about 6'4", or a full four inches shorter than his older brother was when he played at Williamsport three years ago (he's now 6'10" and he was there...he's HUGE), who threw in the low 70s, which I don't think I can hit now at age 22. He was able to surrender only one run in the top of the 1st. Saudi Arabia then was able to scratch across 5 runs on one hit (tons of passed balls, walks, and hit batsmen, as well as a great bunt by the aforementioned female player) off of four, yes, four Venezuelan pitchers, of which the first three managed one out. While this inning proved to be the only offense for Saudi Arabia, they made it hold up, as Venezuela scored once more in both the second and third innings, but was shut down afterward. So, my first game there and I had already seen what I considered a pretty big upset. It was nice to see two teams play hard, despite the fact that they had both been eliminated from pool play already. The last thing I want to point out from this game (and it was a common theme throughout) was how much fun the kids had. Dugout, the LLWS mascot, dances with both teams and high-fives all of the kids before the games. Even though these kids have put in a ton of work to get to where they are, it's still a bunch of 11-13 year olds playing a game and they don't lose sight of that here.

Game #2 on the slate was another international affair, between our neighbors to the north and some of our brethren overseas, another team of Americans whose parents are stationed at Ramstein AFB in Germany. This was a 2pm start time in Volunteer Stadium and the game was underway when we got there, so I missed the Canadian national anthem (which I love), as well as my own country's again. It was 3-0 Canada when we got there (only my dad, brother and I went since my mom and grandparents wanted to keep seats at Lamade for the 4pm game between Massachusetts and Kentucky, and we didn't stay long, which was our loss. We wanted to see the Germany team score (they had been shut out in their first two games, and, along with Canada, had already been eliminated from pool play), and we saw them get their first run in the bottom of the 3rd. However, Canada appeared to open up the game, as they scored six in the top of the 4th to open up a 9-1 lead, and we decided to head back and watch some warmups between two more teams who had been eliminated and get situated. Well, we missed Germany, being down 14-2 going into the bottom of the 6th and final inning, mounting a furious comeback effort that saw them fall just short in a 14-13 loss. I applaud their effort and wish the families (five of them were being relocated following the tournament) best of luck in their future endeavors and want to thank them for their services for our country. Those kids should hold their heads high.

Game #3 was pretty uneventful. Kentucky, much like Germany, had been shutout in its first two games, but was able to score its first run and earn some well deserved applause from the crowd. However, that elation was short lived, as Massachusetts opened up the flood gates and was able to put double digit runs on the board and win via the mercy rule.

Game #4 was where things got really, really interesting. My younger brother had been rooting for the Asia-Pacific team (Chinese Taipei) from the outset of the tournament, and had wanted nothing more than to purchase a team hat. Unfortunately the store was sold out (they also had no more Curacao hats, which was what I wanted), so he settled on a Southwest (Texas) hat while I grabbed the store's last Midwest (Iowa) hat, which we donned immediately after purchasing them. Quick sidebar: These hats are everywhere. It's no wonder that we couldn't buy the hats we wanted on Day #5 of the tournament, as it seemed like every other person we saw was also sporting a team hat. Anyway, we got to Volunteer Stadium early, and got seats directly behind the Chinese Taipei fans. Directly means we were in Row 3, and the first two rows were reserved for fans with special credentials that were essentially parents of the children. Chinese Taipei's opponent for this game was Mexico. Both teams were 2-0 in pool play, so the winner would get to play Japan in the international semifinals, while the loser would draw Curacao. I will quickly go over the game, because the real action took place in the stands. Mexico hit solo homeruns in the first, second, and fourth to open up a 3-0 lead while their pitcher no-hit Chinese Taipei through 4 1/3 innings, when he had to be taken out because he had reached the 85-pitch limit enforced by Little League to avoid kids throwing out and injuring their arms. Chinese Taipei was able to get two runs off of a solo homer and a towering flyball to center that was misplayed, then a throwing error on the same play that allowed the batter to come all the way around. While the effort ultimately fell short in a 3-2 loss, the fans were unlike anything I have ever seen. Both sides were incedibly vocal (the fans from the previous six teams didn't hold a candle to either of these bases), and my brother and I were not to be shorted. Despite the fact that neither of us has ever been to mainland China or Taiwan, nor do we know a single word of Mandarin or Cantonese, we did what any clueless, energetic fan would do, we screamed what we thought they were saying. Six innings of non-stop cheers (these people must have the world's best lung capacity, seriously, synchronized swimmers should train by cheering for Taiwan's little league team) was enough get us on ESPN several times (I had called home and asked my sister to record the game, which she did), and messages from friends asking, "What are you doing at the LLWS?" This was one of the best times I have ever had at a sporting event, hands down.

8:00pm was supposed to be another marquee matchup between two more 2-0 teams playing for the top seed in their pool, Texas and California, but we had simply just run out of steam. Aside from my brother and I who had gone crazy rooting for Taiwan, my mother was the ultimate trouper. She had worked the night shift the previous night (7pm-7am), gotten maybe two hours of sleep in the car, and then sat and watched four games. Coupled with the fact that there was a 3-hour drive looming, we decided that 12+ hours of Little League baseball was enough for us. We did take in Lamade Stadium under the lights from the hill before we left, but missed Texas pulling a big upset over eventual tournament champion California.

We got home around 11:45, meaning our day had taken about 16 hours, but it was well worth it. I highly recommend going to the LLWS at least once in your life if you can make it. You simply cannot have a bad time at South Williamsport. Whether or not you want to watch one game or stay for the whole day, you're going to have a blast. I for one know that I'll be going back again next year...who knows, perhaps Chinese-Taipei will be there again looking for two pasty-white red-heads to back them.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Beginning...

This is a blog much like many before it. It will center around sports, but it will be far superior to everyone else's for several reasons. First, it won't be riddled with grammatical errors and typos, thus making it easier on you, the reader, to enjoy the content without wanting to rip out your hair. Second, I'm covering a VAST range of sports. As much as I love Bill Simmons, I'm going to outdo him. Last, and most important, it'll be better because I will be the one writing it. Nobody else can say that about his or her blog.

To show you that I am not kidding about the range of sports I will be writing about, this first entry will discuss the mainstream sport of women's tennis. This is an easy topic to discuss since I am sitting and watching Venus Williams play a woman named "Mattek-Sands" at the US Open as I write. There are three things I would like to talk about regarding women's tennis: Grunting, Serena Williams, and Dinara Safina. That's a nice order to talk about them too, since the first involves the second (and third), and the hottest debate topic in the WTA is who should be the #1 ranked player, Williams or Safina?

Thus, let's continue to grunting. Not only do I consider it unnecessary, but it's incredibly annoying. Monica Seles began this practice many years ago, and it has unfortunately caught on. I play tennis quite often, and find that grunting has no impact whatsoever on my game when I strike the ball. Is it OK every now and then when you go for a little extra on a serve or big forehand? Absolutely. I also have no problem with players yelling after the point, whether it be a happy scream or an angry one. But during the point? With each stroke? I'm putting the television on mute and rooting against you. This has gotten to the point where yesterday's greats (Chris Evert) have made public statements about how out of hand it has become. I only hope that the new generation of players forgoes this habit and we can usher in an era of ball meeting strings being unaccompanied by an orgasmic shriek.

My next issue is with Serena Williams. She is easily one of, if not my least, favorite athlete in any sport alive today. Her arrogance continues to amaze me with each press conference. Please don't accuse me of anything; she is, without a doubt, the best female tennis player alive today (I will discuss this more in the next topic), but she is also the most annoying. I have yet to hear her praise an opponent when she loses. Look at Andy Roddick at Wimbledon this year and Roger Federer at the Australian Open. Both, despite being disheartened at having come so close to winning a major (Roddick especially), were gracious in defeat and didn't hesitate to discuss the accolades of their respective opponents. Serena's continuous statement is, "I'm my own biggest opponent." Last I checked, there's another player on the other side of the net hitting balls back at you. She has the ability to make you play poorly Serena. Much like Justine Henin confounded you many times and Maria Sharapova blasted you off of Centre Court at Wimbledon in 2004, your opponents deserve some credit when they beat you. Please step off of your high horse and recognize that.

The last thing I want to talk about is the ongoing debate about who should be #1. The ranking system currently in place makes sense, since it rewards players for playing more events (and excelling in them). This is done so the WTA can protect itself by having the top players play in as many events as possible. Even though the four majors count more points-wise, a consistent player can shoot up in the rankings despite lackluster performances in the majors. In the case of Williams v. Safina, there is no doubt that Williams has had far better performances in the majors (she currently holds the US Open, Australian Open, and Wimbledon titles), but she not only doesn't play much outside of the majors, but she also does very poorly there. I understand that she has other interests outside of tennis and pursues them, but she cannot be upset that she currently sits at #2 in the world when she understands the ranking system and still chooses to play the limited schedule she does. Is Safina the best player in the world? No, Williams is. Does Safina deserve to be ranked #1 based on the system they have in place? Without a doubt.